In this text, the author revisits elements of her career as a sociologist and nurse, highlighting the materiality of the sick and soiled bodies for which female family members and professional caregivers are responsible. Without dodging uncomfortable details, she shows that this face-to-face encounter with bodies, which is essential for those who need help, is difficult and often ignored. I am attached by a chain to the foot of a hospital bed in the hospital morgue; a patient is urinating on me. I wake up from a nightmare. What I dreamed was urine were actually my tears, they are streaming down my face. Right then, I decide to leave. That very day I hand in my resignation.